It's 6:00 am. I'm not ashamed to say that I haven't slept a wink all night. Last night, I talked to an old friend that recently lost his wife of 23 years. He hasn't been doing much sleeping also. I felt compelled to stay as he talked, fueled by the beer that he was drinking. I drank water as I observed his remorse of not spending more time with her and staying by her side more.
I once worked with this man, many years ago. He felt the need to talk about that as well, between his stories of his happier days when his wife accused me of killing her pet pig (which I did not have anything to do with). He remembers the time when we went to the comedy club and was almost asked to leave because of the heated argument we got into about Oprah Winfrey.
She had cancer. She lasted about 2 years and passed away the day after Christmas. The cancer had spread throughout her body and infected nearly every part of her until hospice was the only option left. My friend stayed by her side for that entire month, until she passed.
I have been married for 19 years and can't imagine what he is going through. Every room in his house has a memory of her. I'm not sure how he copes with his loss, I'm sure I would be devastated.
I listened all night.
All night, without a wink of sleep.
I'm still wide awake.
I'm not sure what is scarier. Waking up without my wife someday, or watching her go forever.
This has opened my eyes quite a bit and made me appreciate what I've got here and now.
And I'm thankful for every day I get to spend with the love of my life...
